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SMiSsverständnisse # 1: Nivea


Today starts my new section SMiSsverständnisse, the combination of SMS and misunderstandings. Was she the first SMS poetry triffts again but not significant. It is - similar to the so-called Butt-Call, the accidentally made mobile phone calls when the phone in your ass pocket (hence the name) puts - to funny, strange, cool, absurd, or (you guessed it) lax SMS that you can get such .

Content:
? Already awake Do you also Nivea? "

Sender:
A friend (male) that I have seen in my life 2 times, the last time 2 years ago.

My thoughts: Does he perhaps
level and sour? Does he know the women I know? Ah, he has a cute sister, but with which I have no contact.

Ted says, the text message to someone else should probably geschickt werden.

Zurückgerufen: Nein

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Rampensau # 4: Electronics from the CIS


Adrette Damen und freundliche Herren,

endlich (werden Sie sagen) melde ich mich wieder mit einer neuen Multi-Marketing-Level-Aktion. Nachdem unsere letzten Aktionen eine überwältigende Resonanz nach sich zogen - dafür möchte mich bei Ihnen, geliebte Geschäftspartnerinnen und Freunde bedanken - bin ich mir sicher, auch diesmal die richtige Ansprache gefunden zu haben.

Erlauben Sie mir die flapsige Bemerkung, aber dieses Angebot ist wirklich ein Hammer. Unsere Osteuropaspezialisten arbeiteten in den vergangenen Monaten rund um die Uhr, um einen Businessplan der besonderen Art aufzustellen. A few days ago, the contracts made: from now on we work with a Russian technology firm hand in hand. Our alliance is called MedTech. Our joint service for the Eastern European Economic Area is as follows. We combine technology expertise with our advertising and marketing know how.

goes specifically, about getting a ground-breaking hi-fi equipment on the market. All technical features such as slow-eject, easy handling and further refinements to vouch for the quality. A panel will also be possible to go directly to the Internet. And here's the kicker: all this is done via satellite and a unique micro chip
which was originally developed as a GPS system for a large manufacturer in the European automotive industry.

Now to my specific and unique offer: It is also clear that such a project can not be implemented from today to tomorrow. It will require not only the product itself, other components, of which I take on the marketing and advertising person.

dearest friends and partners: Pay today for an amount between 2.ooo .- € and € 10.ooo and get in return for shares of such reasons yet to be public company. An independent investment advisor from Pirmasens puts it spontaneously: "Those who provide not there, your fault.".

your dear Mike XXX

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Screaming Silence # 4: Search 2114


Almost no one is as long as the four-digit numbers at the start as I did. By 1995 - when virtually all departed on three-digit numbers, you can certainly remember the hype - have MC Joe and I are catering for the idiosyncratic and fascinating four-digit level. Staccato-like, we threw each other the numbers at the head of which we had already heard. There were nights when we talked about nothing else, just against the female guests also like cold cuts. Our passion is also expressed by the elitist attitude of our bodies on display by our avant-garde look. Sweaters, shoes and threadbare corduroys.

We ended friendships with the uncultured philistines, who were content with a 204, pah, yes even specified it. To date, four-digit numbers a magical attraction for me, whenever they run into me on the road. My passion grabbed me as I in June 1995, the first time a 9875 got to see where that was not even really know me. From today's perspective, nothing special, but then I felt a great satisfaction, which of course went by quickly. Because I wanted more, and MC Joe it was, I think the same way.

Restless in search of the king of all figures: 2114! In words, two-one-one-four! If überhaupt nur zu vergleichen mit einer 1535. Wie gesagt, wenn überhaupt. Die 2114 raubte mir zahllose Nächte und hielt mich jahrelang außer Atem. Immer wenn ich mich kurz vor dem Ziel wähnte, entpuppten sich die vermeintlichen 2114er als penetrante 8678, morbide 9782 oder allgemein völlig überschätzte 2208. Ich kann verstehen, dass die Liebhaber von Dreistellern nicht nachvollziehen können, wie sehr MC Joe und ich alles daran setzten, nur einmal im Leben eine 2114 zu besitzen. Selbst durch das aufkommende Internet – so unsere Hoffnung damals – wurde es nicht einfacher, nein, es war ausweglos. Meine Freunde machten sich große Sorgen und brachten mir immer wieder dreistellige Zahlen mit. Mal eine 876 oder einen 635 (the only male figure in the triple digits). Nice gesture, but by testifying incomprehension. I thanked him like, inside me I was eaten away, however. The match against MC Joe had long since given way to a great void. Today I'm glad I never had one in 2114 and most likely this will remain forever. Longing is my drive now. It is now important to me than the fulfillment of possession of a 2114th

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Rampensau # 3: Video 2000 - Marketing Tricks


Over the years I have "happy" again and again with our friends Mike with grotesque marketing spam. Despite the largely absurd content the feedback is almost zero. Neither a "haste se, not all" nor a "horny stuff". Strange. An example can be found below. The structure and content are similar - very wooden-friendly-exaggerated high-handed approach, any virtual colleagues heroes and a top offer, where you can not say no. Important elements of style are the nested sets and the "not-to-the-point-coming"; and the running joke of his friend, venture capitalist from Pirmasens. Read for yourself! Oh, give Mike a little more profile, it was also an equally absurd image advertising of the protagonist Mike.

Dear Sirs, I was talking about ladies,

It is time again that I am addressing you, all my loyal customers and clients, apply. After several months I spent mainly with numerous trips to European and Asian countries, I can tell you - you have to say almost normally - once again make an offer of superlatives.

She has already packed the Fifa World Cup fever? Germany will be his friends from around the world a worthy host. But where a lot of light, as well as plenty of shade. The tiresome debate on the coveted tickets are just one example. In a personal interview in which in addition to a venture capital investor based in Pirmasens and sales agents Ekki fungus and members of the national organization teams were there, I could personally a picture of make that problems are solved specifically. So be reassured.

know you and appreciate me for my not to uncontrollable optimism. Actions such as our efforts in the former CIS states on "innovative electronics" or the paperback action with Til Büllingen should be mentioned. Thanks again for your support at that time that exceeded even my wildest expectations. I spoke of optimism, but also problems. With pride I can offer you the following exclusive offer!

moved the broadcast rights for images belong exclusively to the central marketing company for Fifa. As a result, you as a visitor record video clips of the games may not. In plain English, this means that not all digital cameras and camera phones with video capture can be brought into the stadium interior.

but I discovered a loophole that does not spoil all the football and video enthusiasts to enjoy the most beautiful thing in the world. The format "Video 2000" is not of this exclusivity arrangements affected.
This carelessness of OCs did the developers of MEDATech to profitable advantage. Expensive prototypes were built in China and developed within a few months for the market. YES! Sensational! We have a limited number of video cameras in 2000 in today's conventional pocket-sized produced exclusively for you, my dear gentlemen and ladies, we can lend you for a deposit of only 2000 € * per Unit. The built-in tracking feature film "media 2.0" allows you and us for the duration of the video sequence and calculate the foundation will present the fee calculation. Per minute walk from our experts Pirmasens, all old hands in the TV business, from an amount of 2 euros.

just reply with "Video 2000 - Sport is the greatest," and the greatest event in the world makes you even more fun!

With world champion regards,

you prefer Mike XXX

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Ted 2.0 # 2: My little saving Giraffe

By Lisa November 2006 (6 years)

There was once a money-The Giraffe
had many friends
But not once - since the small savings
giraffe was sad.

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tab stories # 4 Everything OK again with bird


ringing the alarm clock at seven. I go to the bathroom. Since bird is already wet and shave before the mirror. "Tomorrow, Ted, sleep well?" Ging "so, neighbor Larry has indeed the whole night against the wall knocked." "I no longer even hear," laughs bird. I shower extremely hot, I love it. After about 10 minutes I come fresh coffee smell from the kitchen counter. Larry bought bread and my anger at him has subsided.

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tab stories # 3: bleaching in the mirror everyday


Before the match in Wolfsburg, the occupants of my car went from a mathematical chance of winning the wolves from 50 percent. I typed as a professional optimist to win. For this purpose a non Tipper ("from superstition") with a good wit and a pessimist who predicted a clear defeat. It was feared. Significant home pack and now 600 kilometers, not early arrival before 4 clock.

Talking about what, when you are together for ten hours? About the referee performance, we have already discussed, also on the many time penalties that have now cost the points. My iPod has 10 gigabytes of music and yet I find it not the right genre. Silence in the car and then still a glimmer of hope. You know the last page of the star. The section "What ...?" really is the last bastion of the star, since the reputation as a serious news magazine went through the Hitler diaries scandal in 1983 in the grits. In the car we play the freestyle version. And if "Icke" Haessler the friend stretched? Correct: Uli Hoeness' son. Wen nutmegged ex-hockey pro and amateur model in 1990 Oliver Kasper playing football behind the Düsseldorf ice rink? The then-champion DEG maker Hans Zach. Cheerfulness but returns a still not. No idea, I'm too tired and I am not really interested and my car steer to the West German asphalt. Finally Freiburg Mitte, defeat is checked off. A pale face greetings from the bathroom mirror and off to bed.

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Impressions # 1: investigation of an aggravated burglary ...


... have been completed. The untold story of my stolen and wrecked Peugeot scooter (Squab) has found its legal end.

What happened then: nice woman met at club - comes with - 7 am in the morning on the holiday rings - police, "was your scooter found" - did not even know that he was gone - "Bye Cherry, I have to watch" - Transfer of Ex-Roller - "Yes, he is". Bucket dented, cracked, broken - including towing costs Feiertagszuschuss - Es war meine Nachbarin! - Roller aus der gemeinsamen Garage gezockt und von der Polizei (da kein Kennzeichen) gecasht worden, Verfolgungsjagd und Unfall -Anwalt des Vertrauens kontaktiert - Akteneinsicht - Forderung über Abschleppkosten und Wert des Fahrzeugs - nix zu holen - juristisches Schachspiel - wirklich nix zu holen. Fall abgeschlossen - keine Chance auf Zwangsvollstreckung - Einigung aufzugeben.

Was heute geschah: dazu aus dem Schreiben meines Anwalts: "...Sie würden also letztlich gutes Geld dem schlechten hinterher werfen."

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.com / sign # 3: Creativity First


Die wahren Wertschöpfer in Unternehmen sind kreative und unbequeme Menschen. Anstatt beim „GEIZ“ anzufangen, you should send the CREATIVE forward.

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tab Stories # 2: bird flight


I reach the dance hall in the city and go inside. "Hi Ted" skin me bird on his shoulder. Pretty badly the shed. It run the indie charts in the late 80s and having to stress many students seem that they have to get up early tomorrow. "Ted, you see that woman over there who dances there? I love her immensely. "Now he dances around the stranger. 5 minutes later it is ready: bird got kicked out because he claims to have collected too many bark beetles. Also, I am leaving the dance hall and make my way home.